


the remains of home

by klutzangell



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: A mess?, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Denial of Feelings, Doyoung and Ten are just scared, I can't seem to write happy things, Loss of Feelings, M/M, a little fluff? idek, inspired by a painting, toxic but not really but yes really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:49:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29794944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klutzangell/pseuds/klutzangell
Summary: none will ever fit the sameit doesn't matter if it flickers,it doesn't matter if it dies out,it will never be changedeven if it's cold and darkit will never be alone or emptya perfect matchbut even the best made match burns out
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten
Kudos: 1





	the remains of home

**Author's Note:**

> another random thought T_T  
> i thought of making it doyu but i crave for doten so why not but you can easily just change it in your mind no issue there  
> inspired by the painting Summer Evening by Edward Hopper

there the two stood against the cold red brick, the soft fabric of doyoung's sweater and scarf grasping onto it. only his sharp eyes are visible from the thick knitted scarf covering half of his face but it's not something ten would be able to notice. the whole time his gaze was set on doyoung's white sneakers that were a gift from ten himself. the other is looking down at the small puddle formed between cracked cement, momentarily filling the empty space until it dries up. their cold hands holding onto each other being the only source of connection between the two even if they do exchange small phrases every now and then. doyoung's glasses fog up and ten only snorts before unlocking their hands and picks off the frames from the bridge of his nose. he takes the fabric of the scarf between his fingers and wipes the glasses clean and gently puts them back on his nose. ten sends him a small smile, his gaze briefly going to him but then going back to the white sneakers. 

—————

_"ew! don't clean my glasses like that!"_

_ten laughs, putting the glasses out of doyoung's reach which was easy considering the fact he was still sitting on the hard chair of the lecture room and ten was standing, "i am just taking care of the baby."_

_doyoung rolls his eyes but the corner of his lips twitches upwards, "whatever."_

_"here," ten places the glasses back onto doyoung's face and strokes the soft black hair before pinching his cheek._

_doyoung only gently swats his hand away before wrapping his arms around ten's waist and looks up, his chin resting on his stomach._

_"i'm hungry"_

_ten laughs but nods afterwards and squishes both of his cheeks again but this time doyoung lets out a soft giggle instead._

_"c'mon let's go home"_

_—————_

doyoung breaks his gaze from cracked concrete and looks around, his eyes never straying towards ten's direction. he jumps slightly when the light above them flickers. doyoung looks up and his eyes squint when the light bulb flickers again. 

_i forgot to tell areum to tell one of the other guys to change it in the morning._

doyoung leans against the brick further, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat. 

ten finally looks up when the light flickers for the third time and glances at doyoung who seems lost in thought while looking at the concrete again. feeling empty and loosing the feeling of his fingers, ten shoves one of his hands into the pocket of doyoung's coat, lacing his fingers with the other's. doyoung pays no mind and lets ten do whatever. ten looks away again and sighs, a puff of air visible in the cold air. 

—————

_"why are you so cute?" ten coos and pinches doyoung's rosy cheeks. he was wrapped up in a large knitted scarf that almost covered his entire face, only leaving his shiny eyes peeking out. his hands were in matching knitted mittens that still let his fingers move freely._

_"i'm not, it's just that you like me too much"_

_"of course i do, i would have to be crazily in love with you to actually be able to put up with you," ten smirked and quirked an eyebrow._

_"i'm not that b—wait," doyoung cuts himself off and squints at ten, "did you just admit to being in love with me?"_

_"who said that? not me," ten shrugged and starting to walk away towards the center of the park._

_"hey! say it again!" doyoung tugged his jacket while whining making ten laugh and swat his hand away._

_"no~"_

_doyoung abruptly stopped and ten turned around, the amusement in his eyes only growing at the sight of doyoung's soft pink lips in a pout. ten's heart swelled and he ran back to him, enveloping him in a bone-crushing hug._

_"i'm only teasing, i love you"_

_"i love you too....i guess"_

_"hey!"_

—————

doyoung had told ten he would go home by himself but ten insisted he would pick him up. so here they were, standing under the small cover of the café with the now flickering light bulb. the streetlamp lights up half of the street from the other side but it is still dark. in the light, the café was one of the most aesthetic and calm places but at night under the small lit area, it felt too big and intimidating. 

ten was more than aware that doyoung was fine on his own when coming home but it was a habit. it was a habit and a way of ensuring that they both would stick together. 

ten could look like he overlooked things and doyoung looked like he could be naïve and aloof but they both knew very well. they both knew that just like the flickering light, their feelings for each other flickered till it gave out. they both seemed to notice at the same time. the time when both forgot their anniversary and the time they both forgot each other's birthdays. 

even if they were both aware, they did nothing about it. even if there were no longer feelings, there would be no other person that could possibly replace the other. it was no longer about whether or not there was love but it was about feeling comfortable. they knew each other from inside out to a level that no one else would be able to get to no matter how strong the love came to be. 

doyoung still knew when ten had a bad day and would still bake him cookies. he knew when ten felt happy and would give him a small smile and a pat on the head. he knew when ten felt annoyed with his friends and would pull him away and make up an excuse so that they could go home and be in the safety it provided. 

ten still knew when doyoung fell into a slump so he would still set up a movie night for him. he knew when doyoung felt hungry by instinct, almost as if it was his own hunger. he knew when doyoung felt proud of something he did so he would tell him _'good job'_ and then a pinch to his fluffy cheeks. 

the comfort and familiarity that they were able to provide for each other was something that neither was willing to give up. there was no guarantee that they would find someone else like that. it was like a silent agreement, a promise, that not matter how long the light bulb flickers, no matter if it dies out, it will not be changed. the light bulb will only belong to that socket, so it won't be left empty. it was dangerous but only until they really get pulled apart, would they be able to change the light bulb. even if it was dark and cold they would still be there. they both knew the other would still be there. if one was to let go, one would have to go into the darkness by themselves while leaving the other in the darkness as well. it was a cost that they couldn't afford to pay and weren't willing to. 

doyoung and ten were a perfect match. a match truly made in heaven or made in hell as taeyong put it. there was no doyoung with no ten and there was no ten with no doyoung. but of course even the best made match shrivels and burns no matter what but the remains are still there, only the faint memory and smell of what once happened.

for the first time in a while, ten and doyoung's eyes met for more than a second and ten could only see the crinkle of his eyes slightly, a hint of a smile and ten could only smile back. the sound of the bus coming to the stop and the additional light makes ten look away but he looks back and tugs on doyoung's hand. 

_"let's go home."_

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading <3 have a good day/night


End file.
